Dear family, friends and (ex)colleagues/acquaintances, I am sorry if you asked me how I was doing and I lied to you saying that “I was ok”. I am sorry if you wanted more time with me but I just simply couldn’t make it. I am sorry if you asked me “what would you like to do now?” and instead of answering “I don’t know” I came up with no clear answers and left you feeling a little lost. I am…
A trauma reveals important parts of ourselves and the type of world we live in. Finding this out can be a very confronting process. After reconsidering our goals based on the new insights it is possible that: Certain goals that we had for ourselves before losing our babies are now gone or We could have the feeling that those goals no longer seem to have as much meaning as they once did. We probably even lost faith that we can…
Growth after baby loss means moving from the shock of confronting the destruction of our beliefs/dreams/hopes. Recognizing that it is important to give a serious thought about how we want to continue living life to start building a new system of understanding that can help us integrate and survive this trauma and the ones to come in the future. Reflecting and working towards post-traumatic growth is possible and I am here to support you in that process. Would you like…
Our mind and thoughts are so full past and future. Let’s give ourselves 5 minutes to appreciate the present moment and to activate our 5 senses. Are you ready to take 5 minutes for yourself? Let's do a quick exercise: Sending lots of love your way, Yolanda. Let's connect! Please schedule a 30-min intro call with me as soon as you want/can. We can chat via Skype or Zoom from the comfort of your own safe space. Just click here and sign…
But Yolanda, let’s be honest, is coaching right for life after baby loss and grief? This is a question I have been asked many times. I know it can be confusing, there are so many types of coaching out there: life coaching, business coaching, executive coaching, career coaching, leadership coaching, just to mention a few. I could spend a whole blog post trying to explain the differences between coaching and therapy, but I rather share my personal perspective with you. …
Baby loss trauma matters. This experience is now part of our lives. It shapes the way we make decisions and how we perceive life but it shouldn’t be what fully defines us… We are human beings who have suffered immensely, we have been thrown into the unknown. Life without our babies was not in our plans and there are no manuals to find our ways again but we are trying! We keep going one tiny step at a time, day…
The words we choose can drive our behavior, shape our beliefs and contribute to the way we create our world. After losing Max, I heard these comments over and over again and I somehow repeated them myself, but they always left me feeling sad and guilty. I don’t want to get over my beautiful baby, he is part of my life. I refused to repeat this and instead I say out loud that I have learned to live with it.…
Helpful guide with real examples I have been asked a lot about what to say when someone you care about is grieving. This is a good question but also a tricky one because everyone is different and we could all react differently depending on timing and our sensitivities.I have gathered some suggestions that I hope are helpful. Some of them are from my own experience and some others I have heard from clients and/or other grieving friends.It is important to…
Post-Traumatic Growth: Turning trauma into strength. Go ahead and write about it... Whenever you are ready, at your own pace, however you prefer to do it. You can buy a nice notebook or use an old one or if you rather take notes on your phone or your laptop that is also fine as long as you make time for it and you do it with intention. Today, I would like to share with you an easy way to start:…
Finding light in our darkest times is one of the hardest things to do. Forgetting about the world for a second, what you should or shouldn't be doing, what is expected in these situations is hard. This is your reality, nobody knows exactly how you feel and what you went through even if they experienced something similar. This is your journey. What can you start doing now? Take a little break to listen to your heart, treat yourself and others…