Dear family, friends and (ex)colleagues/acquaintances, I am sorry if you asked me how I was doing and I lied to you saying that “I was ok”. I am sorry if you wanted more time with me but I just simply couldn’t make it. I am sorry if you asked me “what would you like to do now?” and instead of answering “I don’t know” I came up with no clear answers and left you feeling a little lost. I am…
Growth after baby loss means moving from the shock of confronting the destruction of our beliefs/dreams/hopes. Recognizing that it is important to give a serious thought about how we want to continue living life to start building a new system of understanding that can help us integrate and survive this trauma and the ones to come in the future. Reflecting and working towards post-traumatic growth is possible and I am here to support you in that process. Would you like…
But Yolanda, let’s be honest, is coaching right for life after baby loss and grief? This is a question I have been asked many times. I know it can be confusing, there are so many types of coaching out there: life coaching, business coaching, executive coaching, career coaching, leadership coaching, just to mention a few. I could spend a whole blog post trying to explain the differences between coaching and therapy, but I rather share my personal perspective with you. …
Baby loss trauma matters. This experience is now part of our lives. It shapes the way we make decisions and how we perceive life but it shouldn’t be what fully defines us… We are human beings who have suffered immensely, we have been thrown into the unknown. Life without our babies was not in our plans and there are no manuals to find our ways again but we are trying! We keep going one tiny step at a time, day…
The words we choose can drive our behavior, shape our beliefs and contribute to the way we create our world. After losing Max, I heard these comments over and over again and I somehow repeated them myself, but they always left me feeling sad and guilty. I don’t want to get over my beautiful baby, he is part of my life. I refused to repeat this and instead I say out loud that I have learned to live with it.…
Helpful guide with real examples I have been asked a lot about what to say when someone you care about is grieving. This is a good question but also a tricky one because everyone is different and we could all react differently depending on timing and our sensitivities.I have gathered some suggestions that I hope are helpful. Some of them are from my own experience and some others I have heard from clients and/or other grieving friends.It is important to…
Finding light in our darkest times is one of the hardest things to do. Forgetting about the world for a second, what you should or shouldn't be doing, what is expected in these situations is hard. This is your reality, nobody knows exactly how you feel and what you went through even if they experienced something similar. This is your journey. What can you start doing now? Take a little break to listen to your heart, treat yourself and others…
No matter what they say, there are no fixed rules or guidelines to live a better life or to cope with grief in a perfect way... The way you do this remains a personal choice. My rule of thumb: choose whatever works best for you, whatever gives you energy and feels naturally good for you but please do the work, take action. No matter how strong we think we are, we are never prepared for life after baby loss: The…
TRUE LOVE NEVER ENDS... ...and this powerful love can be transformed, expanded and used in ways that you probably don’t even dare to think about at this moment. When you do the work to transform the power of that pure love into strength, you will be prepared for whatever life will throw at you in the future and you will learn to integrate your baby in your life. It isn’t easy but it is definitely worth it. After all you…
Finding ways to replace them with constructive actions We don’t often talk about death until our own world breaks apart with the loss of someone we love. There seems to be an unwritten rule in our society that says that speaking openly about death and grief is not ok, that it is better to avoid the topic. Grief is mostly seen as a negative thing. Most of us internalize that message and when it happens to us, we tend to…