No matter what they say, there are no fixed rules or guidelines to live a better life or to cope with grief in a perfect way... The way you do this remains a personal choice. My rule of thumb: choose whatever works best for you, whatever gives you energy and feels naturally good for you but please do the work, take action. No matter how strong we think we are, we are never prepared for life after baby loss: The…
TRUE LOVE NEVER ENDS... ...and this powerful love can be transformed, expanded and used in ways that you probably don’t even dare to think about at this moment. When you do the work to transform the power of that pure love into strength, you will be prepared for whatever life will throw at you in the future and you will learn to integrate your baby in your life. It isn’t easy but it is definitely worth it. After all you…
So please, go ahead, close your eyes and think of your beautiful baby! Allow yourself some space and time to remember, honor, and to connect with him/her/them. Are you being brave by doing this? No, you are just being a parent to your beautiful child who now lives in your heart. Our babies will be always part of our lives whether they are here or not ♥ Love, Yolanda
Finding ways to replace them with constructive actions We don’t often talk about death until our own world breaks apart with the loss of someone we love. There seems to be an unwritten rule in our society that says that speaking openly about death and grief is not ok, that it is better to avoid the topic. Grief is mostly seen as a negative thing. Most of us internalize that message and when it happens to us, we tend to…
Is there anything you have been postponing until you feel ready to move forward? Life after baby loss is hard. It is challenging. It is trying to figure out our ways over and over again... The truth is, you will never feel 100% ready. You just need to do it, in your own way, at your own pace, step by step, little by little...you can do this! The end of your baby's life doesn't have to mean the end of…
Post-Traumatic Growth: Turning trauma into strength. Traumatic events leave us with full and overwhelmed minds. We cannot stop thinking about what happened, we keep having flashbacks, we can’t stop scrolling on our phones trying to find helpful information and reading similar stories. Our brains are working overtime and that is truly exhausting. If we want to move forward without sinking, it is crucial to take a little bit of time each day to quiet our brain to listen to our…
Post-Traumatic Growth: Turning trauma into strength. Feeling all the feels, that sounds nice...but how do you do that? The best way to start is to own your feelings and be willing to feel them all, exactly as they appear. Whenever you feel down, instead of blaming yourself, feeling bad about it or spending all your energy trying to hide it --> embrace it, become aware of it, mention it. For example: Instead of thinking: I feel terrible, I have been…
Post-traumatic stress gets a lot of attention after baby loss but why focus ONLY on the negative? Did you know that there can be growth after a traumatic event? That there are strategies to turn trauma into strength? In Tedeschi’s words: “In the wake of trauma, people become more aware of the futility in life, and that unsettles some while it focuses others. This is the paradox of growth: People become more vulnerable yet stronger.” In the coming days, I…
